that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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