you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
