p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
