addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
