you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
