I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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