I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
