While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
