Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
do herpes really smell.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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