Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
