O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
