I molested 6 butterflies tonight
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
