i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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