So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So many bounce houses so little time
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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