I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
