Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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