Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
