She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize