I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
either way he was missing a nipple.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
