This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize