I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
