My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
