Nicole vs. Life
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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