is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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