so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
