Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
