I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
