i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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