My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
