I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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