Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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