so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
