Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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