I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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