he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
