their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
