a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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