i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
