How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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