Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
