my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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