That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize