GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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