He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
