Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
