no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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