I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
