Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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