didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize