So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize