Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
