Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
