We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
