I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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