Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
