Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
