I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
In America we eat man semen.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize