can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
