So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
